Last June, I was awarded my Blue
Belt from my coach Red Schafer. Everything seemed as though, I’d be on the fast
track towards Jiujitsu Heaven, but it wasn’t. Roadblock after roadblock sprang
up and another yet, again. It seemed as though; I couldn’t get a strong
foundation to being rebuilding my training and jiujitsu way of life. I mean
think about it, I’m over 40 with a family and full time career. When would I
have time to train and train seriously? It isn’t like I’m one of these young
gunners who can kick it late night and still make it to train with few hours of
sleep. Dude, I need as much rest as I can possibly get.
Unfortunately for my children and
I, we lost my wife in early March of this year. Her passing was truly devastating
to the family. Daniela (my wife) was my greatest supporter in Jiujitsu and
would push me when I didn’t want to go train. She is truly the reason I succeed
in life, not just Jiujitsu. Trying to find normality after such a loss seems
hopeless, but the children and I are steadily pushing forward, never forgetting
her or her spirit.
As I try to get back to being
semi-normal, I run into the obstacle of clashing schedules. My work schedule
and my Jiujitsu schedule are like opposing siblings. Both supposedly working
for me, but steadily warring with one another. I’d have to train during the
morning schedule because my work schedule starts at 12:30 PM. Jiujitsu is at
11:00 AM-to-12:30 PM, which would leave me having to rush out and miss rolling
with my team. I would get technique, but not much rolling. This is a problem
because my coach isn’t seeing me and my technique in action. Well, I have
“FINALLY” gotten the okay to begin work later on Jiujitsu Days so I can stay
all session and roll with the team.
For me, Jiujitsu isn’t about
competing, but about having something that I enjoy doing and can see
improvement each time I step onto the mat. Renzo Gracie said, “The mat don’t lie!” I agree with him. I
know the pain and distress of loosing my wife and the mother of my children won’t
vanish because I train, but it will help to redirect and emit the pain and
stress towards something more positive. I apologize to my team for not being
able to be there as I’ve wanted to be. I’ll make it up when each of you choke
me out, =D!!!! See you on the mat.
